knackered

Absolutely knackered and drained. My first week working has really worn me out; nevertheless, it has been a superb eye-opener and a great experience. I have finally gotten a true flavour of what it means to work and as cliche as it is, it needs to be re-empahised: working life isn't a bed of roses; being a student is indefinitely better.

As I work, I begin to appreciate you Dad much more, for the years of toil and hardship for me to lead a comfortable life. With your sacrifices, you have provided me with one of the best gifts a child could possibly ask for: a dream education in UK fulfilled and realised. Never have I truly understood the reality and pressures until this week when it unfolded before my eyes. Sitting with a higher ranking colleague and listening to his rantings and beratings, colleagues frantically working long hours to meet deadlines and chassing after meetings only to be chided like a child has made me realised how sheltered I was and how naive I was of the real world. How self-centered I have always been and how tiny my responsibility to study and do well is when compared to yours of supporting the family and providing for our needs. Truly, I have appreciated all that you have gone through and am extremely thankful and grateful.

Though quite drained, I am very blessed to have the opportunity to work for such a large multinational consultancy firm, Foster Wheeler, reputedly with the largest process engineering department in Europe. I am currently working in a large team (200-300 engineers) at the FEED (Front End Engineering Design) stage of the Qatar Petrochemical Complex Project based in Messaid, Qatar. Though trained as a chemical engineer, I work as a Systems Engineer working closely with the Materials and Process Specialists. With the existing PFD's and P&ID's as well as the process data sheets from various licensors ( Bassell, Axens and Lummus to name a few), I convert them into MSD's (Material Selection Diagrams). A little tedious and at times monotonous, my ability to read and comprehend PFD's and P&ID's has improved drastically. A useful and key skill which I hope to develop even further as I progress into my working life.

It's getting real late here in Reading and think I better sleep. It has been a long and tiring week and I'm glad its the weekends now and for once I can finally rest and relax. Thank you Abba Father for providing for me and for protecting me throughout.

A big thanks to all my prayer warriors too, Dad, Mum, Care, Hannah, Meli, Cheng Lu, Janice, Lina...I send my love to you all(:

Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

It has been a while since I read such an inspiring book. If you have not read it, get a copy; it's well worth it:)

A truly amazing classic, it speaks of the journey Much Afraid went through with her Shepherd along with her two most faithful companions, Sorrow and Suffering. Though seemingly difficult and painful the long journey may seem, it was never impossible especially when it was in line with the Shepherd's will. Through it all, Much Afraid was transformed into something incomparably more precious; she was moulded and crafted into His likeness. Her thorny seed of love planted in her heart grew and yielded blossoms of fragrance. And finally with Hinds' feet and a precious crown of splendour she became the Shepherd's companion forever; being able to go wherever the Shepherd went.

This book really taught me so much and was exactly what I went through this two days. I was invaded by the Fearing Clan but came up victorious over my encounter with Pride. I have experienced the Shore of Loneliness but was ultimately reminded I have a direct line with my Shepherd. I have ascended the Great Precipice Injury and was certainly hurt and bruised but with the Cordial of Grace and Comfort; I was healed and strengthened. And though I walked through the Forests of Danger and Trials and was lost in the Mist, my Shepherd was close by at all times. His gentle and comforting voice was undeniable and unmistakable.

And through it all, I have grown so much in my own personal walk with the Shepherd. I have finally learnt to accept with joy the circumstances He has put me in. To surrender completely. To understand what it means when I say: 'Be it unto me, according to Your will.' To draw strength and comfort from the Shepherd alone.

'For there is nothing more exhilirating and delightful for the Shepherd than to turn weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection. Weeping nay endureth for a night but joy cometh in the morning.'

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."- 2 Corinthians 12:9

May you too be blessed and experience the Shepherd's goodness in a most unique way. To always be an obedient pupil in the School of Character and Discipline for we have been handpicked and chosen by the Shepherd himself to undergo special training:)

Do you still have faith?

Thank you dear all for your prayers and encouragement. Do love you loads.

Its difficult to understand why for this paper I didn't read the question properly when normally I have been so meticulous, reading every instruction even on my answer booklet. I am not sure why God let it happen and in some way I am very frustrated with God especially when I had all the hopes and trust. I was the one who kept calm and cool before the exam even seeing my friends frantically doing their last minute revision. I had such high hopes of scoring well and yet at that split second, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I am not sure how it happenned and the confusing thing was I actually spent 10 min analysing on which two to do and I never for once read there was a compulsory question. Honestly, it seemed that throughout the exam I was blinded. I am not sure what to say, what to do other than rush to see the lecturer straight after the exam only to understand he was busy in the meeting. I sent him an e-mail already but I doubt he can do anything, considering from their point of view, it was entirely my fault for not following instructions.

When I came back, I was just in a state of shock, pure shock, not knowing what to do. And worst still, I couldn't call home. And then, when God saw me in such despair, He sent Melissa to call me. Meli listened, and heard my cry over the line. She asked how my paper was and I poured out my anguish, my frustration. I was in the pits of pits. And then Mum finally called and comforted me over the phone.

After putting down the phone, I decided to phone Melissa and agreed to go over for dinner. During dinner, she told me how she had been thinking of me for a long time and wanted to 'celebrate' with me now that my third paper is over. She has been a hugh blessing, even cooked sweet and sour pork chops for me and was there to encourage me. I have found no friend like her and I can only really thank God for blessing me with her. Without her initial call, I am not sure how I could have taken it. The idea of losing my faith completely seems scary but honestly at that time, I had lost all hope. My studies were something I prized and was in a way proud of suddenly failed me. No words could contain the anguish. But dear Meli was there for me. When I needed her the most. She even blessed me with lettuce and fruits to take home. What a great friend and sister in Christ!

After dinner, I decided to go to the Whitworth Park music room and I managed to play the piano. Never have I enjoyed playing the piano so much. The cries of my heart as I played the worship songs. The music and chords somehow all flowed. I am amazed at how I could think of a song and play it immediately without any chords when usually I would stop and think what chord would come next. Somehow I wish I have a piano to play. Have actually been thinking about it for the past weeks...

Yeah, that's basically the whole drama unfolded. It has been a long day. I hope I shall not lose heart; rather be stirred and be moulded to what He wants me to be. To be renewed in mind and to practice what I read. What a coincidence I have just finished reading Philippians this morning. To have joy and to always rejoice. Pray I would be strong. Even with the little tiny baby faith. Above all things, whether I do badly or I do well, I shall give glory to God. Whether I fail or excel, I give thanks. Whether I have much or have little, I am content.

And a note for Meli too, God shall be our sustainer as He prepares and moulds us into what He wants us to be. We shall not be discouraged but grow stronger in faith daily.

Natural disasters

So many natural disasters of late....

No of deaths in Cyclone Nargis in Burma has risen to more than 40,000; China quake toll to top 50,000, US southern states hit by tornadoes and many were killed in the Uttar Pradesh storm in India today.

All of these unleash a devastating and an uncontrallable force. In a matter of seconds, lives are destroyed and are forever changed; never to be same again.

Power, strength and might - we stand in awe at these as they unravel before our eyes. Yet nothing, absolutely NOTHING can touch or even come close to the omnipotent display of God's power and natural wonder. He is the author and perfecter of life. He is the creator of all living things. From the kings of the forests, to the birds of the air and the fishes of the seas and even the insects in our garden, he created them all. And He has set the natural laws in place to govern all living things.

Life is full of surprises. We don't know what is to come except that the Sovereign Lord is in all control at all times. For us who belong to Christ, we need not be afraid of tomorrow and what it holds because our lives are in HIS hands:)

Really proud of you

Really super duper proud of you Care. Esp the e-mail from TISB. The thought of you entering Oxbridge has made me smile all day. Remember to continue trusting GOD and you shall soar and mount high on eagle's wings. 'Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and all these things shall be added to you.' Channel your many many GOD-given talents and use it to glorify Him. You are incredibly blessed and you must always remember to give thanks:)

From the depths of my heart, my soul cries out to You

Never take life for granted. Live it to the fullest and with purpose. Life is like a piece of thread, so fragile yet so precious.

Life's one certainty is its sheer of uncertainty. As Scripture reminds us, we 'do not know what will happen tomorrow.' (James 4.14). Learn to appreciate the essense of life itself and live it with purpose for His glory.

I was shocked, well shocked last night when I recieved a text from dad. Literally burst out into tears for mum esp when Dad's text from Indonesia was so vague. Mum being sent to Manipal emergency ward- pls pray for her. So many things crossed my mind, and for once my faith went down to the pits! But I kept mum in prayer, secretly wishing for a miracle even with the little faith I had left.

While having dinner, I felt emotional again. And I started crying all over. I lost my appetite over my mixed vegetables; didn't even finish it and instead opted for digestives with nutella. Why did mum have to go through such pain and suffering? Why did such an accident befell her while my dad was travelling? Why???!

These questions shall only be answered when I reach heaven. However, I must acknowledge that peace and comfort overflowed as I read and meditated on Psalms. My fear slowly diminished as I entrusted my mum to the Lord, knowing that He is ultimately in control and that He would not give her more pain than what she could endure. I learnt what it means to have faith even in the midst of adversity. How to commit and trust.

I thank God and praise Him that He has heard my family's cries and mine too. She just had a couple of stitches done, lost 5 tooths in total and had some soft tissue injuries on her arms. Her chin and arms have all been bandaged and I'm so glad that she didn't fracture her jaw or broke any bones or it could well have been much worst. I am believing and trusting God that she will recover soon, that in the name of Jesus, all pain be gone. Her many cuts and wounds especially on her tongue will soon disappear and that she'll soon be able to enjoy her food. I thank you Father for your protection and for watching over my family.

For his unfailing love never ends...

This week has been a difficult week. Last Sunday, I fell from the bus and as a result sprained my ankle very badly. In fact, the pain must have been so great that I woke up a number of times! The next morning was worst. I literally struggled to class. Walking down the stairs have never been so torturous and painful. For once, I wished I stayed on the ground floor. I nearly gave up going to lectures but due to some commitments I made earlier last week, it was essential for me to be present.

After my work, I decided to give my local GP practice a call. Unfortunately, they were fully booked and hence could not see me. Following that, I dragged myself to the local NHS walk-in centre near the Piccadily train station but got absolutely frustrated because they refused to see me without proof of my original student visa. Reason being: not a permanent resident and never been to a walk-in clinic before.

Even in those frustrating circumstances, God has been so gracious. He has watched over me and heard my cry. I praise the Lord for the friends I have, every single one of them for their support, encouragement and care. As a result of my immobility, I spent a lot more time at home. I have enjoyed the precious moments reading His word, dwelling in His presense and praising Him in my room. His joy and peace were so great and His assurance and promises were so comforting in the midst of my struggles.

And I really thank the LORD for the great friends I have, every single one of them. For Melissa, for believing and having so much faith that my ankle will heal. For her care and concern. Her love and compasssion has never failed to touch my heart. For her faithful texts everyday, how's your ankle today? I have never found a friend like her; so true, so faithful and so loyal. And I can only thank the Lord for our friendship.

For Janice, for her encouragement, her prayer and her visits. Her love and her effort of specially taking the bus and bringing her super Kui Fah Yau all the way from Whitworth Park. I am extremely grateful for her thoughts of even coming over to pick me up by bus on Saturday for bible study. Thank you dear Janice for just being who you are!

For Jennie, for giving me her chinese ointment and Yoko Yoko. Truly appreciated your calls and for just being there for me. Remember that you are a wonderful child of God, created perfectly for His purpose.

For Feedo, for giving me his bandages when I needed them most. For offering me your painkillers when you saw me in such pain.

For Chris, for his advice and for going into city just to help me get the ankle support.

For my coursemates, for being so understanding and kind even during those times.

Thank you dear friends for everything! Words can never truly sufficiently express how grateful I am to you all. But above all, I give God all the glory for His great and supernatural healing.

"The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies, we have been kept form complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself.'the LORD is my inheritance; therefore I will hope in him!' The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him."
Lamentations 3:22-25